Less Toil, More Trouble

From one who wishes to remain anonymous anon:

I was in a company that performed 4 or 5 Shakespearean shows in rep. Among them, MacBeth. I played Third Witch/Gentlewoman.

Since the shows were on an infrequent schedule, it was common for a few weeks to pass between bookings for any one show. We had a Mac at a high school in the burbs once, and we were well into the production when I realized that I hadn't gone over my lines recently - and the Cauldron Speech scene was coming up. In fact, the Cauldron Speech was happening.

The director had split the speech up among the three witches... and my part was coming up.

I was completely blank. One hundred percent, Had. Gone. Up. Breathe, said the voices of all my acting teachers. Breathe, be in the moment. It will come to you.

So I started off with a not-too-conspicuous, very witchy "Ahhhhh.... " Just enough to stall the high schoolers, and make my fellow witches a little nervous.

Then, Huzzah! Sure enough, it came! Yes! Lines! from the play! Yes! There was something about a "fillet"! Which some actors pronounce as /FILL-it/, but I stubbornly call /fill-AY/, because it's less offputting! YES! There is a fillet! Just say 'fillet,' and the rest will come! Trust sense memory!

So it sounded something like this.

"Ahhhhhhh........" [PAUSE] "Filllllllaaayy....." [PAUSE] "Of fish......" [LONGER PAUSE] "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh..." "In the cauldron, boil and bake. Eye of newt and toe of frog..."

And so on. As scripted? "Fillet of a fenny snake." Oh Lord. I'll never forget it again.

I exited as quickly as I possibly could and crouched with my face in my hands backstage. Hecuba walked past me and hissed, "... fillet of FISH?"